During a session with Joann, her grandmother came through. She is a strong soul who has always looked out for Joann. This is Mom’s mom, who was very close to Joann and her mother, who is still here.
It came out that Joann is a very angry person but she suppresses it, she fears if she lets go she will not stop, she will go off on many people in her life, coworkers, her kids, yes kids can be challenging, but still they are kids and kids do what kids do, mostly think about themselves, at leas this is the case in Joann’s life. Joann’s grandma also told me she is in a very bad marriage with a man who is angry at the world.
She is always walking on eggs around him; she is tense, fearful, and fraught with anxiety. I told her she is staying because she thinks she can fix him. Joann is a natural caregiver. She wants her family to stay together, she wants her kids to have a good life and doesn’t want to disrupt that, after all, her husband is a good provider. Grandma explained to her, You can’t fix anger; anger is always looking for a reason to express itself. A reason to be pissed off at someone or something. If you cook the perfect dinner, that person will find a reason to be angry, perhaps it’s because you made mashed potatoes instead of French fries. The next thing you find yourself doing. During our session, Joann got some hard advice. Living like this has caused her to be depressed and angry as well. Depression was and is blinding; she can’t see what is going on much less fix it.
Gramdma also told her she has to deal with her depression if fo nothing else than to help her see things more clearly. As Joann was getting these messages, I could see her face was changing she was becoming much less tense. It was pointed out that much of what was causing her anger wasn’t that important. They were things that she had no control over and if she looked at them as such, the anger would fall away, and her depression is something she could handle. She wasn’t at the stage of needing medication. She was told to do some walking, get out, and walk as fast as she could, it would help her see clearly. Oh, and I heard she is paying too much attention to the news. I gave her advice as I do others ti turn off the news and turn off the cartoons.
Her grandfather came in at about that point and showed me alcohol. I thought perhaps he had issues with that but he didn’t. He was showing me her husband again, she acknowledged he drank too much.
I told her to put her foot down and insist he get some help for that. I was told he is ready now.
It was a month later when I got a text from Joann thanking me for the session. She told me sh stood strong and told her husband to seek help for his issue. She told him she would be there to help him and she would stand by him throughout the ordeal, she said if not for yourself but for your daughters. That triggered him to beginning his recovery. She reminded me I told her every time something made he angry she should stop and ask herself why, ask your self is this that is really that important and to ask her husband when he got angry the same question. She realized a lot of the things that made her angry weren’t that important, and she was letting others have too much influence over her. I explained that it was a diversion, it kept her from seeing things as they are.
It was good news her and her husband are on the path to finding a better life, yes it’s going to be a journey for him, but he is determined to get to this better place and stay there.
Every day is a new day that comes with new challenges we have to face, and once you have left the fog of depression behind, those challenges are not the big monster they thought it is. They now know life can be good and it in their hands to make it so.
Note: Anger is caused by stress, depression or a sense of loss. But at what point is living with someone who is angry going to cause you to become depressed, hurting your health and mental well-being
Anger is a natural, instinctive response to threats, it help you deal with them it helps the person who is easy going to not allowing them to be pushed around. I see it as a tool to help you get through some difficult times. Anger will become an issue when you can’t manage it. It can bring more problems to a situation making it worse, causing the anger to escalate. It is up to all of us not to allow that, just ask yourself, why, why am I letting this affect me like this, you may be surprised the answer is, ther is no reason and just dust it off and move on.
Always remain hopeful, never hopeless. Always be Optimistic, Never Pessimistic.