While talking to one of John’s sisters toward the end of the night, she asked me if anyone was around. I should set this up before I go any further. This was a Sunday evening & a loud party. My skylight, as I call it is closed on Sundays. The party was very loud and I was involved interacting in conversation with others. When I’m at a party having a good time as a guest I don’t allow the other side to come in.
I have said this many times before, but it bears repeating here, I take what I do very seriously, I am not here to impress others. This simply isn’t about me, it about helping others.
When my cousin asked if anyone was around, she also mentioned my cousin Marilyn who was her aunt. Marilyn & I around the age 15 were buddies before they moved away. It was at that point Marilyn came in, along with my Aunt & Uncle. Everyone still at the party in John’s family got a short message. To be honest here, I only remember one message to John from his Grandfather; He told me he was proud of John Edward, yes he used both of Johns names for some reason. He told John took the right direction in his life & because of that he is in a much better place than he could have been. I guess John at some point in his life was at a crossroad. I told that message to either his sister or mother, but they weren’t sure (if I remember correctly) what it meant. I didn’t want to bother John at his party, but found a moment where we could talk. That message meant something to John, and as usual the one who got the message understood exactly what it meant.
Well, the souls were so strong & had this great pride, they came through me as they sometimes do with tremendous passion. They started to show me that pride through emotion, I found myself feeling this happiness, and fighting off tears … I hate when that happens … It messed me up pretty much for the rest of the evening. It was ok because they heard what the needed to hear. It was a happy reunion for the souls. I knew that, my aunt (their mother & grandmother) was my Godmother, she was saying things to me, as well. Hey, once they come in there is no controlling what they say. I did my best not to show them what was happening to me. The tears were welling up, but I succeeded at crying with one eye.
You see, I understood what was happening, yet I still don’t believe men should cry in public over happiness, but it happens to me during sessions at times. Long ago I developed the ability to cry with one eye to hide the fact I was crying, it was when I was 16, when my dad passed & I had to show strength. I wrote something about that many years ago. The point is this affects me greatly yet even with all the pain I feel & it’s a lot, I’m still glad I have been one who is chosen to do this.
I hope they heard what they needed to hear & understood it.