Part of the caul bearers experience is feeling the pain of those who have passed. Occasionally I can’t move on past someone who has come through, after helping the person I’m with move down the path of healing. This is a burden we bear; I consider this part of the sacrifice we suffer, in return for this gift. I know the souls don’t feel pain, anger or hatred & they become whole again. I now know they can be sad. I recently saw this, but it’s not the kind we suffer here. This pain is for others who can’t move on with their lives due to their passing. Understand I’m not saying stop missing them of have some sadness, not at all, but some here become paralyzed from the pain.
Very recently I had an experience that affected me more than any other so far. It was around a child that passed. I have had many children and yes that is always very painful, but this child stayed with me. The day after I met with her the girl’s mother sent me a private message thanking me for the messages, letting me know it was helpful. The pain was so strong, my heart was so heavy, and I became very emotional. Yes, this has happened before but not to this magnitude.
The child told me she was sad because her daddy was in a great deal of pain even though he hides it. I wrote her mother & offered to meet with them together. I told her I would not charge for this, because one, this can’t be about money all the time & two; I didn’t want any suspicion by the dad that I would be coming to make money off their grief. I didn’t mention this to her, but I saw a uniform for him, I wasn’t sure if he was a police officer or not. I asked if he would be open to this, she had asked & told me even though he was skeptical; he was open to hear what I had to say.
Upon my arrival, I found he was a Fire Fighter & in his uniform, the surprise that I didn’t see was I knew him. As I started talking to him, I have to admit I was a bit nervous, not for me, but because this was very important for their daughter he hears her message and believes it. She has been sending them messages, but he wasn’t seeing them like his wife has been. He was glaring at me; like someone who was pissed at me for something awful. However within moments I was told by one of the adults who were with me he didn’t want to become emotional that made complete sense.
I’m not sure if he got anything from the messages, I never am, it’s just who I am. I did speak with his wife who told me he will need time to figure things out, again something that is normal with this. My heart felt lighter when I left. I believe this because he did get something out of if it. At the very least their daughter got to talk to her daddy & that was all she needed to do.
This morning I was awakened by a cardinal singing outside my window, it’s one of the birds I see for messages. On top of that it had some significance for this family. But the singing wasn’t what caught my attention. It was the only bird singing & there is never just a single bird out my window. I’m never awake up at that hour, 5 am by them, no this bird sat there & sang for a half hour, until I got it. I realized this bird was a thank you from this little girl, there is no doubt in my mind, and if you know me, I have to be convinced when it comes to message for me. I am not the kind of person who believes everything is a sign.
NOTE: I started writing this 3 days ago, I want to make sure it’s accurate & makes some sort of sense as I’m not a writer. Yesterday morning another cardinal with a very deep voice sang out my window, again at 5 & alone, this was from a brother who came to me the day before … hey birds pick a later time please This morning it was back to the symphony of many.
Another sign from the child came to me this morning, as I was pouring syrup on my waffle, it leaked all over my hand … that has NEVER happened before. It is what if I didn’t know better, a freak thing. Ok I’m thinking, I’m getting old & sloppy, and a little pissed at myself, but when I went to wash it off, I started licking it off 1st I never do that either, I know where my hand have been .. then I heard, “don’t wash it, it feels & tastes good.” It was right then, when I heard the voice I knew this little girl was with me again this morning in a playful way, she I realized she was playing a little trick on me; it’s the only way this could have happened.